My Bloody Valentine
Many couples are excited about the upcoming Valentine’s Day. There are however just as many people for whom this day is stressful, anxiety inducing, depressing and lonely.
I think of it as ‘Bloody Valentine’s Day’ and I’m not the only one!
I think that Valentine’s Day can cause those in a relationship undue stress. It can be a forced day of love. You may not be in a happy relationship or even in an abusive relationship and feel the pressure to be in or at least act as if you are in love. Those not in a relationship may feel the pressure to be in a relationship and are left feeling unworthy or unlovable.
Many have unrealistic expectations around Valentine’s Day. They may feel pressure to spend money they don’t have on gifts their partner does not need or want or to pretend they like what their partner has bought them. Lack of communication in a relationship can compound this; presents may not be as expected or ungratefully received leading to arguments and resentment. For those not in a relationship the media may make some people feel as if everyone is happy and in love except them. Just remember Valentine’s Day is hugely commercialised around 145 million cards are sold in the UK every Valentine’s Day! And that’s just cards, how many presents, meals out, holidays etc are bought on top of this? Not surprisingly Some people refer to it as “Hallmark Day”
Valentine’s Day also has rather dodgy and unclear roots. Its origins are believed to be in a Pagan festival called ‘Lupercalia’ which was celebrated in ancient Rome. It was dedicated to Faunus the Roman God of Agriculture and was celebrated by sacrificing animals and the young men smacking women with strips of the animal’s hides to encourage fertility. Misogynistic from the start in my opinion!
So, if you are feeling lonely, stressed, anxious or depressed about Valentine’s Day just remember you are not the only one, it is just another day after all. If you are in a relationship, remember to communicate with your partner about both of your expectations about the day. Whether you’re single or in a relationship remember it is not a competition; don’t believe everything you see on social media; people only post what they want you to see; their lives are not that perfect either.
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